Fuck, i'm so sick of headaches.

Wait, before i start to rattle..
I would like to sincerely apologise to Dawn.
I'm so damned sorry, honestly!
I didn't know i caused so much trouble for you man.
Ugh, there i go again..
Being a big fat sinner.

Anyway, this week is rough.
Really rough.
Lost count of the no. of pills i've popped into my mouth alr.
Memory pills, calcium tablets, panadols...
This is so freaking sick man.
My parents, that is.

What more shit do they want outta me.

Ugh, i'm not talking about all the mugging i've been doing.
I don't mind slogging my butt off for the examinations.
It's just that their attitudes are horrid.
Well firstly, those dumb medicines won't make me smarter.
They won't make me a genius overnight.
And next, stop pressing on the issue that i'm not studying.

Stop telling me that i better get decent results.
Stop telling me that i better buck up.
Stop pushing my limits!

It's tiring, you know.
Very very tiring.

I don't understand you two man.
I really don't.
Haven't i done well enough?
You expect me to top the level?
To top the class?
Did i do very bad the last time?
In fact, i think it was pretty impressive.

Well perhaps you two just want your child to be perfect.
Good academic results, ace my piano exams etc. etc.
But you guys don't give me the opportunity to take up stuff i wanna.

When i told you guys i wanted to take up drums,
How did you two feel?

Reluctant.

When i told you guys i wanted to take few months break from piano lessons after playing for the past nine freaking years,
How did you two feel?

Reluctant.

When i first told you guys that i wanted to take up ice skating lessons,
How did you two feel?

Reluctant.

After i finally persuaded you two to let me go,
All you guys knew thought of was that skating lessons were a waste of time.
They're useless.
They won't get me anywhere in life.
It was my passion man!

And the only reason why i quitted the class was because two of you were RELUCTANT to let me continue.

Oh shut up.
I've had enough.
Sooner or later i'm gonna leave this frightening place.

Anyway, i read (yeah that's right, i read) about this video on Shihhan's blog.
And it really made me think hard.
Yeah, it was super touching.
But it reminded me of something else.

And that was you.

I just thought of how possesive you were in the past.
They way you talked to me.
They time when you aksed me why i loved you.
I said i loved you for the way you are.
And i said there's no reason for loving you.
But you weren't convinced.
You were paranoid and doubtful.
You thought i was taking you for a fling.

But it turned out the other way round.

No, i have zero feelings for you now.
I don't hate you, i'm just neutral.
Come to think of it, the relationship was just plain abusive.
In what sense?
Well i don't think at any point of time you were serious.
-shrugs-
It doesn't really bother at all now.

But you only had one motive of being with me.
That one thing on your mind.

Goodness, i wished someone told you that you're just awfully disgusting.
A total disappointment.

Bah, thank God i've gotten rid of you from my mind and life man.
:D

Anyway,
To that very very very uncouth person who tagged at my tagboard.
You know who you are.
I'm just sick of stupid people like you who don't know that your ip adresses can be checked.
Trying to pose as someone else?
That's lame cause in the internet,
You can do many wonderful things.
And that includes checking computer identities.

You better reveal yourself before i reveal your computer's ip address to the world man.

Oh about the content of your tag.
C'mon lah,
I have younger readers as well.
This is not some pornographic blog man.
Don't illustrate stuff like that.
No offence, but in your tag you sound like you don't know what's the difference between a blowjob and intercourse.

=X !!!

Anyway, i suppose i better run along to complete my geog revision.
Damnit.

xoxo,PEARLYN!
9:10 PM